Hooking up with your ex may seem appealing if you’re still into them. You can’t get back together for various reasons, so you settle for sleeping with them. But have you thought about the consequences? If you and your ex broke up, that’s an indication that you’re incompatible.
Forcing compatibility through sex can cause trouble. Here are reasons why sleeping with your ex isn’t a good idea.
1. It Might Reignite Your Feelings for Them
You probably had a hard time getting over your ex if you loved them even a little. Breaking up with them must have been very hard on you. You don’t switch off your feelings just like that, so it’s understandable that it took you a long time to get over them. Chances are, you haven’t even gotten over them. If you hook up with them, you might just reignite your feelings for them and take yourself a thousand steps backward. You’ll be taking yourself back to that place that felt so terrible.
Do you remember what it felt like? You couldn’t stop thinking about them. They were all you could think about. You couldn’t do anything. You were useless. You weren’t productive just because you broke up with them, or they broke up with you, or both of you broke up, whatever the case might have been.
Hooking up with them will reignite your feelings. There’s a high chance you would do that, and you don’t want to put yourself in that position. Instead of hooking up with your ex, there are other people out there you could hook up with. Your ex is not a good option, trust me. They aren’t because if you do that, you might just reignite the feelings you had for them, and that won’t end well, especially if they’re not interested.
2. Both of You Might Want Different Things
You probably want your ex back. After hooking up with them, as stated earlier, it might reignite your feelings for them, but you can’t say the same for your ex. They might feel absolutely nothing.
You may think that now that you’ve hooked up, you might come back together. To them, it’s nothing but what it is. You’re just hooking up. You and your ex not being on the same page is going to cause problems because you can’t force people to feel what they aren’t feeling.
If your ex isn’t feeling you in that way, you’re not on the same page, and it’s going to cause friction. It’s going to cause a lot of drama, and all of this could have been avoided if you had never slept with them or hooked up with them.
Hooking up with your ex could be a serious problem for you because if your ex isn’t thinking what you’re thinking or wanting what you’re wanting, you’re all by yourself. It will be your problem, your cross to carry alone. Hooking up with your ex is a bad idea because it could become a big problem, especially if both of you aren’t on the same page about what you’re doing and what you want from it.
3. There Is No Guarantee Things Will Work Out
It didn’t work out the first time when you were dating, so what makes you think that sleeping with your ex will suddenly make things work out or help both of you understand each other?
There’s no guarantee. You might think that by doing that, you’re going to rekindle the love you once shared, but it might just be in your head. Remember, you broke up because you were incompatible for whatever reason. Those issues are still there. They haven’t gone anywhere.
Your ex is still the same person. Yes, people change, but what’s the guarantee? Old habits are hard to change. Hooking up with your ex doesn’t mean that all of a sudden you’ll go back together and have a wonderful relationship. There’s no guarantee because you’re dealing with the same person.
It’s better to let things be the way they are. There’s a reason the relationship didn’t work out in the first place, so let it be. Thinking that hooking up with them will take you back to the past and make you an item again isn’t a good idea, because that might never happen. You’ll end up even more disappointed and hurt, having invested even more feelings again.
4. One or Both of You Might Be Cheating
Perhaps you’ve moved on. Maybe you’re seeing someone else. What about your ex? Have they moved on? Are they seeing someone else?
They might tell you they’re not seeing anyone just to make you feel comfortable about hooking up, but how sure are you they’re telling the truth? For all you know, you might be helping them cheat on their partner. You’re encouraging cheating, and that’s terrible.
Put yourself in your partner’s shoes. How would you feel if your partner cheated on you, especially if you’re not in an open relationship? You could even be in a relationship, hooking up with your ex while claiming exclusivity with someone else. How do you want your partner to feel if they find out?
This single decision to hook up with your ex could cost you your relationship, something you worked so hard to build. Is it worth throwing it all away for a hookup with your ex? It isn’t. Hooking up with your ex could encourage cheating in one way or another, so it’s better not to go down that road because it might cost you your relationship or even cost your ex theirs.
5. They Might Have Ulterior Motives
When you broke up, how sure are you that your ex was okay with it? Even if they pretended to be, it’s possible they weren’t.
They might be resentful and waiting for an opportunity to get back at you, hurt you, or cause you harm. Hooking up with them might be that opportunity. Imagine spending the night together and you’re asleep. That’s an opportunity for them to do anything while you’re asleep.
Don’t give them that opportunity. Your ex should remain an ex. You shouldn’t be hooking up or sleeping together because they could take that as the opportunity they’ve been waiting for to harm you. You can’t really trust them because you don’t know what they’re thinking or how they truly feel toward you.
It’s better not to do it at all because, at the end of the day, they might hurt you so badly that you’ll regret even considering hooking up with them.
You might think you’ve gotten over your ex, but the moment you hook up with them, you could reignite those feelings. That would be a disaster, especially if your ex doesn’t feel the same way.
For them, it might just be a hookup. For you, it might be something more. You might want more, and if they aren’t willing to give it to you, you can’t force them. At the end of the day, it’ll be you and your feelings.