After breaking up with an ex, going back to them isn’t always the best choice. You are supposed to move on and possibly fall in love with someone else. But sometimes you may find yourself gravitating toward the same ex you walked away from. Some people try to justify this because they feel comfortable with this person. Here’s why reconnecting with your ex in a relationship isn’t a good idea.
1. You Would Be Settling
Why do you want to go back to your ex? You probably think you can’t find anyone as good as them. You might believe they’re the best thing to ever happen to you, but guess what? That isn’t true.
There are billions of people in the world, so why would you think you can’t find someone as good as your ex? There are so many people who would beat your ex to it. You’re a great person, you’re lovely, and I can assure you that many people would want to be with you.
Don’t settle for your ex. You were together; the relationship ran its course, and now that it’s over, you have to move on to better, greater things. You need to let go of the idea that your ex is the best you can do. They aren’t.
There are better things ahead of you and so many wonderful people you haven’t met yet. If you go back to your ex, how are you going to meet them? Instead of going back, it's better remain single. Remember, there’s a reason the relationship didn’t work out, and those reasons are still there. They’re not going to change.
Keep an open mind, and sooner than you expect, you’re going to meet someone who won’t only beat your ex to it but will make you feel like you’re the best thing to ever happen to them.
2. People Hardly Change
Think about it; your ex is still the same person they were. If you broke up with them, or they broke up with you, it’s because you had a problem with who they were.
Why do you suddenly think they’re different now? If you go back, you’re going back to the same person. Ask yourself, do you really want to be with this person? If they were so great for you, why did you break up?
Some people just aren’t compatible. It doesn’t mean your ex is a terrible person. It just means they weren’t the one for you. Going back means taking the same baggage, dealing with the same things you dealt with before.
Do you really want to go through all that trouble and trauma again? People don’t change overnight. Your ex isn’t going to change just because you’re back together. People change when they want to do it for themselves. Expecting your ex to be different just because you’re back together won’t work.
3. They Might Want Revenge
You might have nothing against your ex, especially if you’re considering going back to them, but can you say the same about them?
You can’t be sure they’re completely over what happened. They might still be nursing grudges. Getting back with them could give them the chance to hurt you. Maybe you were the one who broke up with them, and they’re still angry about it.
Why would you put yourself in a position where they could hurt you emotionally? It’s a big risk. With your ex, you already have history, and that history might not be on their side. Don’t give them that opportunity. It’s safer to move on and be with someone who doesn’t have a reason to hurt you.
4. You Might Not Be Free to Be Yourself
When you try to rekindle what you had, you might start walking on eggshells. You might feel that being yourself will make history repeat itself.
You may hold back your thoughts, feelings, and expressions just to avoid problems. That’s bondage. A relationship shouldn’t feel like bondage. You should be free to be yourself and express yourself fully.
If going back to your ex will cost you your freedom, it’s not worth it. Your happiness and freedom are very important. Don’t give them up just to be with someone who already had a chance and blew it.
5. The Cycle Might Continue
If you're considering going back to your ex, it means you haven't gotten over them. You broke up for a reason. What makes you so sure that reason has been resolved? Unless both of you are completely different people, which is very hard, there’s a high chance the same cycle will continue. The same issues, the same disagreements, the same differences. Do you really want to relive all of that over and over again?
Sometimes relationships don’t work out, and that’s just life. You deserve better, and trust me, your ex does too. It’s a two-way street. Don’t be selfish. Both of you deserve a chance to experience something better.
Who says you must end up together? You had your time, and at one point, it was great. Now it’s time to move on and see the world with other people. If you keep going back, the cycle may continue until you regret ever considering it.
A relationship can be the best thing to ever happen to you, but it can still end. That doesn’t make you a bad person, nor does it make your partner a bad person. It could simply mean you’re incompatible. Making your ex regret losing you is better than going back to them.
When a relationship ends, get up and move on. Keep an open mind and believe there’s someone better out there for you. Instead of going back to your ex, get excited about the possibility of being with someone even better.