Have you noticed that you’re always attracting losers and douchebags? There’s nothing good that can come from losers and douchebags. Those guys bring nothing but bad news. The sooner you start staying away from them, the better for you, because all they know how to do is pull people down. Their lives are so messed up that everything is upside down, and they’re looking for people to get entangled with.
It’s up to you to say no, that this isn’t the kind of life you want for yourself. You need to stay away from losers and douchebags as much as possible. Otherwise, you’ll get entangled in their mess.
Here are 6 ways to stop attracting losers.
1. Take Responsibility for Your Own Role
You might think you’ve got nothing to do with it. After all, they’re the ones coming to you, right? But if they’re getting attracted to you, it means there’s something about you they find appealing, something that draws them to you like a magnet.
You need to recognize and admit that you play a role in this. It might not be intentional, but there’s something about you that draws them to you more than to anyone else. You need to sit down and examine yourself. What is it that you’re doing that losers and douchebags find attractive? You really need to look deep within and find the answer.
It might be unintentional. But finding the solution starts with you taking responsibility, acknowledging that you play a role in this, and committing to figuring it out. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Sit down and do that self-examination. It could be the way you talk, the way you dress, the way you carry yourself, the places you go, or the people you associate with.
Look at the patterns. What are the similarities? What are the common denominators? Once you figure that out, you’ll be able to cut that habit away, so losers will have nothing to be attracted to.
2. Deal With Your Insecurities
Sometimes, our current reality is shaped by our past experiences. You probably had experiences that left a void in your heart, and now you’re constantly looking for ways to fill that void.
It could be that while you were growing up, you were in a toxic environment, and some of the people around you were losers and douchebags. Now, you feel like those are the kinds of people you need to relate to or associate with. As a result, your emotions are pulling you closer to them, and vice versa.
It’s time to discover what that’s about and figure it out. I’m not a therapist, so I’d advise you to see a therapist and dig deeper into whatever past experience is making you gravitate toward losers and douchebags. It’s a pattern, and you’re used to it. It’s already in your system. If you don’t deal with it, it might continue as a cycle, and you’ll keep getting entangled with losers. You need to address that insecurity so it can be erased from your life and leave no room for losers and douchebags.
3. Understand the Dynamics of a Healthy Relationship
You probably have a picture of what a relationship should be like, and that picture is filled with losers and douchebags. What you know is what you do. You can’t do what you don’t know. You can’t behave a certain way if you don’t understand. It’s time for a total re-evaluation of your thought process. You need to recognize that there are other ways to cultivate healthy relationships.
You need to understand mutual respect and boundaries. Douchebags exhibit abnormal behavior in relationships. They do things that aren’t normal, things that are off point. Nobody should have to go through that. You need to study what a normal relationship should look like. Mutual respect is important. Boundaries matter. Being with someone doesn’t give them the right to control what you do, where you go, or who you talk to.
Losers love control. They want to be in charge of everything, and before you know it, they drag you down with them. Once you have a clear picture of what a healthy relationship looks like, you’ll have a benchmark to compare against. Then you can tell yourself this isn’t it and that you’re not cut out for it.
4. Level Up
If you’re attracting losers and douchebags, it’s most likely because you look like them. They see you and think you’re one of them. It’s time to improve yourself. Likes attract. If losers and douchebags keep coming to you, they probably think you’re the same. Move up the ladder. Work on yourself. If you need to double your hustle, do it. Don’t stay in the same position.
If you’re always in places where losers hang out, they’ll always have access to you. When you level up, you naturally remove yourself from environments that attract them.
5. Watch Out for the Red Flags
Red flags are always there. We just choose not to see them. That loser didn’t drop from the sky. They have a history. If someone doesn’t have a job, and they’re comfortable being jobless, that tells you everything you need to know. A grown man who isn’t bothered by not working is a loser. If someone doesn’t want to work but expects you to pay their bills, that’s a red flag. If someone has kids with multiple people and you’re still waiting around, the red flags are right in front of you.
Most of the time, we see the red flags and pretend we don’t. Stop being blinded by love. If it looks like a dog, it’s probably a dog. Stop hoping it’ll turn into something else. If someone’s behavior isn’t normal, they’re not normal. You need to walk away as soon as you can.
6. Drop the Savior Mentality
You can’t save anyone. It’s not your job. Ask yourself if you’ve even finished saving yourself. Stop trying to change people. The signs are always there. If someone isn’t doing anything to be better, you can’t fix that. The more you try to save them, the more you’ll drown. Drop the idea that you can save anyone, because you can’t.
If you keep risking it, you’ll get burned, and sometimes the damage is permanent. You’re not a savior. Losers and douchebags have nothing good to offer you. If someone truly wants to change, it has to come from within. Adults don’t change because you love them. If you see the signs, run. It’s not your responsibility to fix anyone.