If you aren’t confident you’ve gotten over your ex, it’s most likely because you haven’t. Good romantic partners are rare. If your ex was good to you but the relationship ended for some reason, you may struggle to detach and move on. Dealing with conflicting emotions can be confusing.
Here are clear signs that you haven’t moved past them.
1. You’re Always Thinking About Them
You’re always thinking about them, even though it’s been a long time since you broke up or they broke up with you. There’s nothing wrong with thinking about your ex after a breakup. You shared a huge part of your life with this person. You were an item. You did a lot of things together, so you can’t just erase them from your memory like that. It’s understandable.
But if you broke up a year or two ago and you still find yourself constantly thinking about them, that’s a sign you haven’t gotten over them. It means you’re still in love with them. If you had moved on, you wouldn’t be thinking about them all the time.
Yes, there will be moments when thoughts of them cross your mind, and you might smile or laugh, depending on how beautiful those memories are. That’s normal. But if you think about them even when you’re supposed to be busy, and it happens all the time, it’s not a coincidence. They’re still special to you and occupy a place in your heart.
When you truly move on, you’ll notice you’re no longer thinking about them constantly because other things are occupying your mind. If you’re not there yet and you’re thinking about them 24/7, it means you’re still stuck on them. You need to do something about it.
The relationship is over. Your ex has probably moved on, and it’s time for you to move on, too. Stop torturing yourself by constantly thinking about someone who may not even be thinking about you. It’s not balanced.
It’s easier said than done, but you have to do it for your own good. Whenever you catch yourself thinking about your ex, snap out of it. Do something else. Think about something else. Keep yourself busy. Over time, you’ll notice you’re no longer thinking about your ex all the time.
2. You Talk About Them at Every Opportunity
It feels like you’re always on standby, waiting for a chance to bring them up. You make everything about them. You do it so often that your friends and family are starting to complain.
You might be with friends, having a normal conversation, and then suddenly say something like, “Oh, he used to do this,” or “She used to do that.” You’re always dropping their name, even when it’s unnecessary.
You’re still into your ex. If you had truly moved on, you wouldn’t keep mentioning them, especially during conversations with other people. Your ex isn’t there, so stop making the conversation about them.
You only talk about people you still care about. Yes, the relationship was beautiful while it lasted, but it’s over now. It’s time to stop bringing up your ex at every opportunity.
It’s fine if, once in a while, something reminds you of them and you mention it casually without emphasis. That’s normal. But if you constantly bring them up and talk about them when you’re meant to be present with friends, family, or new people, it’s a clear sign you haven’t gotten over them.
3. You Compare New Love Interests to Them
You meet someone new, start getting to know them, and before you realize it, you’re comparing them to your ex. Your ex becomes the standard. If this new person doesn’t act the way your ex did or do things the way your ex did, it becomes a problem.
Wake up. Your ex is not the standard. Your ex is just another human being. Yes, they might have been great while you were together, but there are other people who are great, or even greater.
Everybody is unique. If you place your ex on a pedestal, there’s a high chance no one will ever meet that standard. The new person you’re talking to is unique. They can never be your ex, just as your ex can never be them.
If your ex was that great and you truly want them, go back to them instead of making things difficult for new people by expecting them to act a certain way.
Comparisons aren’t healthy. If you constantly compare people, you’ll drive them away. Understand that a new person has the potential to be even better than your ex ever was.
4. You Can’t Let Go of Gifts and Shared Moments
You shared beautiful memories and exchanged meaningful gifts. Even now, those gifts still mean a lot to you. But you’re no longer together, and your ex has probably moved on.
Holding on to those items keeps reopening old wounds. Every time you see them, you think about your ex and end up hurting yourself. It’s in your best interest to let go. You don’t have to throw them away or destroy them. You can give them away, especially if they’re valuable. Keeping them isn’t helping you.
If your ex gave you something like a bracelet and you keep seeing it or wearing it, it will keep triggering memories. Let it go. Put it away or give it away. Otherwise, you’ll always have something pulling you back and making it harder to move on.
5. You’re Stalking Them on Social Media
Your ex is no longer with you, and you need to let them go. Constantly checking their pages, seeing who they’re with, and where they’re going, will only make you feel worse. It’s even worse if they’ve moved on and aren’t stalking you. What your ex is doing is no longer your business.
The more you stalk them, the more you cling to a relationship that has already ended. You should be busy living your life, having fun, and moving forward. That’s how you heal and open yourself up to meeting someone better.
If you’re stuck watching your ex online, you’re holding on to the past. If you can’t let go of the past, it’s hard for something new to enter your life. There’s a reason they’re your ex. If everything had been perfect, you’d still be together. Say no to stalking them online or anywhere else.
6. You’d Go Back If You Had the Chance
Deep down, you’re hoping they’ll reach out and ask to get back together. If they did, you’d jump at the chance. That means you haven’t moved on. If the relationship ended, whether mutually or not, there’s no point waiting for a miracle. You’re better off accepting that it’s over and moving forward.
Holding on to hope that something dead will come back will only hurt you more. Make peace with the fact that it’s done. When you make a conscious effort to move on, you increase your chances of meeting someone better.
If you’re praying and hoping your ex will call and ask to get back together, that’s a clear sign you haven’t gotten over them. It’s holding you back from healing and from protecting your heart.
Letting go is hard, especially when what you had was beautiful. But life happened, and the relationship ended. Accept it. When you decide to move on, things will start working out for your good.
Nobody is indispensable. If you make up your mind to move on, you’ll meet people even better than your ex.