There's no better way to put it; breakups suck. Going through a breakup can be one of the most difficult times of your life because in that moment, nothing else matters. You have spent a large part of your life with this person, creating memories, having fun, and sharing intimate details. And then suddenly, they're no longer here with you.
You begin to imagine what life would be like without them. Where do you go from here? What do you do? You can't even think of a life without them because you've gotten so used to them. It's crazy.
But guess what? You aren’t alone. A lot of people are going through the same phase. Many have already gone through it, and today, they are doing well. No matter what you're feeling right now, it will get better.
1. Speak to Someone About It
You just experienced a breakup; it's a big deal. Don't listen to anyone telling you to “man up” or act like a big girl; handle it with class. There's nothing classy about a breakup. There's nothing classy about hurting on the inside.
This is the time for you to vent. Speak to people about how you're feeling. You're hurting. Don't bottle it up inside. Express the hurt. Let it out. Hold on to your friends and family. Let them know how you feel. Let them know what hurts you most. If you feel like you played a role in the breakup, perhaps you cheated on your partner, or they cheated on you, talk about it.
Nothing you say or do right now will bring back the relationship, but just having the opportunity to vent and pour your heart out to someone who understands what you're feeling will help you feel better.
Talk to anybody who has your interest at heart because you have so much you want to say, so much you want to get off your chest. Get it off as much as you can. And by doing that, you'll feel lighter on the inside.
2. Cut Off All Contacts With Your Ex
You’re hurting. You come first. Your feelings matter. You've been hurt and abandoned. You're all you have right now, and you need to look out for yourself first. This is not the time for you to act all nice and put others before yourself.
If cutting off all contacts with your ex will make you feel better, why shouldn't you do it? Constantly seeing them, reading their posts on social media, and their WhatsApp status will only do one thing to you: bring back those memories, and those memories will only hurt you.
You don't want to know anything about them, at least for now. You don't even want to know whether they exist. You need to protect your space, your mind, and your head. This isn't the time for seeking closure; you don't need it.
Go on social media and block them if you have to, so you don't see anything about them. If they try to contact you through any other means, block them. No communication, nothing, at least for now.
3. Reclaim Your Self-Esteem
After a breakup, there's a tendency to start feeling inadequate. You begin to think that you were the reason why the relationship ended, why your partner broke up with you. You start to think that you're not good enough, because if you were, they wouldn't have broken up with you.
But that’s not true.
You are good enough; they just couldn't see it. You’re the best of your kind. And I tell you what, if they broke up with you, it's because they never deserved you in the first place.
If you dwell on the mindset that you're not good enough, you will hardly move on, because it will always be in your head, making you feel you will never find someone as good as your ex, let alone better.
To honestly believe that you're good enough, you need to make a list of all the wonderful things about yourself. Make positive affirmations. “I am beautiful. I am kind. I am good.” Say these things to yourself every day, all the time.
The more you dwell on the fact that you’re not good enough for your ex, the more you remain a slave to them and a slave to that relationship. That relationship is over, so you don't have to hold on to it. Stop wishing that you could have done better, that you could have saved it. It was never worth saving, because if it were, it would have been saved.
You did the best that you could. You played your part, but in the end, life happened. Stop blaming yourself. Soon, you will find someone who will treat you as the special person that you are.
4. Try New Things
Going through a breakup can be one of the darkest moments of your life, and having fun is probably the last thing you're thinking about. But the idea is to move on, so you need to make an effort by trying out new things.
You spent the last few years of your life, or the last few months of your life, with your ex. You built your world around them, always going out with them and doing stuff with them. Now that they're no longer in your life, it's time for you to try other things.
Where are those places you would love to visit? What are those things you would love to do? You probably wanted to do all those things before, but you just couldn't because someone else was in the picture. Now is the time to go all out and do them.
You want to create a distraction, one that doesn't involve your ex. You want to get your mind off your ex, and trying out new things is a good way to do that. And in trying out new things, you will create new experiences for yourself, experiences that will remain with you for a lifetime.
This is the time for you to bond with your friends. There's a reason why we all have friends in our lives. Friends who will be there for us in the most difficult times. Make plans to go out. Go on that vacation. Visit that cool place and just have fun together.
There’s nobody in the picture telling you what to do and what not to do. This is about you having fun and just trying to be okay. It's about creating new adventures. It's about doing those things that make you come alive, things that get your heartbeat all pumped up.
Once upon a time, you couldn't do all those things without your ex, but guess what? They are in the past now, and you are all you have now.
5. Be Open to the Idea of Finding Love Again
For many people, a breakup is the end of ever finding love again. I get it; it's a very difficult situation to be in. Your world is shattered. You feel terrible. And you begin to think that if you had never believed in the idea of love in the first place, you probably wouldn't have gotten yourself into this mess.
But if you must move on from this, you have to believe that there’s someone out there for you, waiting to find you. If you don't go out to meet that person, or if you're not open to the idea of meeting them, you might never ever find them.
Your ex isn’t the standard. No matter how great they were, there's definitely someone out there better than them. There's someone who can top their game; someone who can treat you a lot better than they did. And you have to be open to finding that person.
It's time for you to let go of the past. It's time for you to give love a chance. And when you do that, you will find someone who will correct every wrong that your ex did; someone who will change your mindset and your perception of life, love, and relationships.