Relationship breakups are hard. Whether you’re still in love with them or not, closing that chapter takes a lot of courage because the news will impact your life and theirs in some way. Breaking up in person is very difficult for many, so choosing to do it via text is often an easier alternative. Even so, there are ways to end a relationship through texting amicably for a more measured and controlled outcome.
1. Pick the Right Time
You don’t want to break up with someone over text when they are in the middle of something very important that would throw them off balance. It could ruin what they are doing. Since you’ve been dating this person for a while, you should have an idea of their schedule.
You want to break up with them at a time when they are not doing anything serious. You just want to end the relationship because it is no longer working out for you; you don't want to destroy their life. Send that text when they are probably at home.
If this person goes to work, you don’t want to send that text while they are there. It would ruin their day, and they would be unable to concentrate. Timing is very important because if you send the text at the wrong time, it’s going to cause damage, and they will end up blaming you for it. You don't want to be held responsible for them losing something important.
2. Choose Your Words Carefully
Texts last for as long as you let them. That person would have that text with them for the longest time, especially if they are not willing to let you out of their life just yet. Be sure that you don’t say anything that is so hurtful or incriminating.
You don’t want that to be used as evidence against you, so choose your words carefully. If something wouldn't sound right to anyone reading it, don’t say it. One of the benefits of texting is that you’re not in a hurry. You have all day to compose your message.
You can edit it, proofread it, and go over it again and again. Make sure you don’t say anything so hurtful that it makes you look like a terrible person. Be honest about it, but be wise. If you let your emotions overwhelm you, you might just say things that you will regret later.
3. Be Firm But Respectful
The person you’re sending the text to might think it’s just another message from you. If you aren’t firm, they might think you’re just having a bad day, and you guys will talk it over later. You need to let them know that you are serious and that this is "the" text.
State clearly that this is over and you are done with the relationship. While you’re doing that, ensure that you are respectful. You don’t want to be rude. You might not be in love with this person anymore, but at some point, you probably were, so you should remember that.
Be respectful while you are keeping it real. The idea is to ensure they get the message and take it seriously, but you don’t want to insult them. Even if you're breaking up because they treated you badly, you don't want to be who they have been to you. Keep it polite so that you won't regret anything.
4. State Your Reason for the Breakup
Sometimes people call it quits without stating why, and it’s not right because it leaves the other person guessing and making assumptions. You have enough time to write, so don't be in a hurry. You need to let this person know why you are ending the relationship.
If you can’t face them in person, let them know that in the text. Explain that breaking up over text is the best thing for you to do and give them reasons why the relationship wasn't working. Don’t keep them guessing because that would hurt them even more.
If you are a nice person, you want to make the breakup easier for them because breakups are not easy for anyone. I did a video titled "How to Get Over a Breakup," which you can check out. Stating your reason helps your soon-to-be ex understand why you have decided to take that decision.
5. Don’t Hit Send Unless You Are Certain
Don’t send that text just because you’re angry. After composing the message, you should let it be and take a break. Go do something else because you might change your mind afterwards. You need to be very sure, so think it through and sleep on it before you send it.
Once you send it, you can’t take it back, and that person will have it as evidence that you broke up with them. It is different from verbally breaking up. Even if you change your mind tomorrow and get back together, that text will always be there if they don’t delete it.
They could use it to guilt-trip you in your relationship going forward. Don’t give them that power over you. If you’ve thought about it and feel it is the best thing to do, then you can go ahead and send it.
Ensure that you pick the right time, choose your words carefully, stay firm but respectful, and state your reasons. Don’t hit the send button unless you are very sure about breaking up. Once you send those words, you can’t take them back. Stand by your decision, knowing it’s the right one for you.
Watch the YouTube video on How to End a Relationship Respectfully: 5 Essential Tips for Breaking Up Over Text