A toxic relationship doesn't always have the words boldly inscribed on it. Sometimes, the abuse meted out to victims is silent like they don't exist. The most toxic relationships don't happen overnight. There are often signs that go unchecked. The damages of such relationships have no limits. It's safest to look out for them early enough and take necessary measures.
Here are signs that you're in a toxic relationship:
1. Disproportionate Giving and Receiving
A relationship is supposed to involve two people committed to making things work. It's a partnership, and for it to thrive, both of you have to give as much as you can. It’s a give-and-take.
The level of giving doesn't have to be perfectly balanced at 50-50. Sometimes, one person might be more in love and naturally do more. However, there shouldn't be a massive disparity. If you are doing everything and your partner is doing nothing, it doesn't add up.
Giving much more than you get makes it natural to feel drained because you keep giving without being refilled. When you love someone, you naturally want to make them happy and comfortable. If your partner doesn't go out of their way for you while you do all the work, you might be in a toxic relationship. They don't love you enough to reciprocate, and staying in that situation makes it toxic.
Unrequited love is one of the most difficult things to deal with. If your partner can't love you close to as much as you love them, you shouldn't be in that relationship.
2. Persistent Anxiety Around Your Partner
I'm not talking about having butterflies in your stomach; I'm talking about genuine anxiety. You get anxious whenever you are around your partner, and that’s not a good feeling. Your body is wired to respond to threats, and you're responding this way because your partner triggers something negative. When you're dating someone who loves you, they make you feel better. You should feel happy, excited, and energetic around them.
If your partner makes you anxious, something is wrong. When your phone rings and you see it's them, getting anxious is not a good sign. You should be happy to hear their voice. If your phone beeps with a text and you're worried or afraid to even open the message, that is not normal.
You're supposed to smile before you even open a text from a healthy partner. Feeling this anxiety whenever you see them, talk to them, or even when they are coming around is a sign of a toxic relationship. You have a right to take yourself out of that situation.
3. Constant Feelings of Inadequacy
The person you are dating is supposed to make you the best version of yourself and make you feel special. They should feel like they've won a jackpot because you are in their life. When someone is in the habit of talking down to you or insulting you, directly or indirectly, that is a toxic situation.
They behave that way because they don't love you as much as you think. If they did, they would treat you specially and remind you constantly how lucky they feel to have you.
If they make you feel inadequate, you shouldn't be with them. You should be with someone who feels lucky to have you. That feeling of inadequacy isn't normal. You are beautiful, great, and awesome; if your partner doesn't realize that, they are not the one for you. Stop trying to be "enough" for them.
They should love you for who you are. If they can't, I assure you that you will find someone who will. There are so many people out there who will love you unconditionally without you having to do anything extra.
4. Sensing That You Are Being Used
If you feel like they are using you, there's a very high chance they are. That feeling wouldn't come out of the blue; there's a reason you feel that way. When you love someone, you naturally want to do things for them, but you shouldn't feel used.
You feel used when your partner doesn't appreciate what you do and makes zero effort to show up for you. You keep giving and giving, and they can't even acknowledge it.
You are in a relationship to enhance each other's lives. If you're feeling used, it's because your partner isn't on the same level as you. You're giving energy that isn't being reciprocated. This is toxic because if you continue this way, every area of your life will suffer. Instead of continuing to feel like someone is using you, you need to put an end to it.
5. Lack of Belief in Their Loyalty
If you have any reason to question your partner's loyalty, the relationship should have ended a long time ago. Your partner is supposed to prioritize you and choose you over every other person. You are questioning their loyalty because they have shown you several times that they can't come through for you or that they don't prioritize you. What other evidence do you need to realize they don't rate you?
Loyalty is key in a successful relationship. You should have the assurance that, come rain or shine, your partner's loyalty is unwavering. You should know that if you call on them, they will have your back.
If you can't count on them to be loyal, what can you count on them for? If you aren't sure about their loyalty, the relationship is one-sided and toxic. If they cared about you and respected you, you would have no reason to question them.
Every relationship has its ups and downs, but toxicity is different. You don't have to stay with a toxic partner. Whatever the reason is, you deserve better.
It might not look like it right now, and you might feel like this person is the best you can have, but that's not true. You can do a whole lot better. There are several other people who will treat you like the special person you are.
Watch the YouTube video on Healing and Awareness: The Definitive Signs You Are in a Toxic Relationship