Your 20s are a defining moment in your life. They are your first introductions into adulthood, ushering you into an era of independence. Several choices are in front of you, and how you navigate them determines how well the rest of your life unfolds. Here's how to take charge of your 20s against the backdrop of youthful exuberance.
1. Prioritize Self-Love Above All Else
Love is a very interesting and exciting phenomenon for someone in their 20s. You want to be loved, you want to share a deep emotional connection with someone, and you want a companion. Those are fantastic; life isn’t meant to be done alone.
You need someone in your corner you can count on. But the greatest love you can ever have is the love that comes from within. You need to understand and practice self-love. Nobody can love you as much as you can love yourself. If you can’t love yourself, you will find it difficult to love others.
Self-love reflects in our relationships. If you love yourself genuinely, you will have the love to give to others. If that love is missing, people will not treat you as well as you should be treated because it’s obvious that you don’t love yourself. You can’t bank on the love of others.
People have their own lives to live and troubles to deal with. If you’re depending on them to love you 24/7 for you to be fulfilled, you will be disappointed. If you love yourself truly, you can always count on yourself. When you love yourself the most, you will have great relationships because the love flows naturally from within. If you don’t, you’ll go around looking for love in all the wrong places and just get yourself really hurt.
2. Overcome the Trap of People Pleasing
In your 20s, you want everybody to like you and be in everyone's good graces. It’s okay to want to be liked, but the reality is that everybody may not like you. No matter how hard you try, some people just won’t, and it has nothing to do with you. You can’t continue to give people more of what they don't like trying to please them. If you say yes to every request, you are going to end up draining yourself and losing yourself in the process.
When you’re trying to please everybody, you won’t be pleasing yourself. As a result, you will be tired and begin to feel resentment. The quality of your life will suffer because you won’t be paying attention to your own needs. People pleasing is not healthy; it will only make you exhausted. If things don’t serve you well, learn to say no. They’re not putting a gun to your head. It’s okay to say no politely.
At the end of the day, you can’t really satisfy people. Even if you say yes nine times, the minute you say no, those who don’t truly care will think you are a terrible person. Only please people because it is the right thing to do and because it is convenient for you. If it’s not convenient, don’t entertain it, or you’ll just be giving them the go-ahead to continue making demands of you.
3. Embrace Risk-Taking While You Are Young
In your 20s, life is real. You have seen the realities of being an adult and fear begins to creep in. You’re no longer living in a child's fantasy world, so you begin to second-guess yourself and fear failure. You might begin to crawl into a shell because you don’t want to fail. But you have your whole life ahead of you. If you don’t take those risks now, when are you going to take them? If you don’t try, you’ll never know the outcome.
Things could go wrong, but they could also go right, even better than you think. Now is the time for you to make mistakes and learn from them. There’s no guarantee things will work out the first, second, or third time, but you have to keep trying. Use your head and calculate the risks; don’t take them blindly. When you weigh your options and see a chance, go for it.
The bigger the risks you take, the higher the chances of living a better life. The decisions you make in your 20s will define your life, so you can’t afford to be lackadaisical. Be confident, bold, and brave.
4. Master the Art of Negotiation
Because you’re young, some people would want to take advantage of you. They feel you will take whatever they offer, but don’t give them that satisfaction. When people make you an offer, evaluate it thoroughly. Does it favor you? Is it in your best interest? You need to be confident enough to know your worth and negotiate for it.
Don’t negotiate from a place of sentiment; nobody is going to give you stuff just because you’re young or because you say you need it. The world is tough. Negotiate objectively based on what you bring to the table. Identify the value you bring to every interaction or project and weigh it against what they are offering. If it isn’t good enough, voice it.
Don’t be timid; demand what you are worth. When you do that, your life will improve because you’ll be getting what you deserve. People will take you more seriously because they know you’re not a pushover.
5. Focus on Your Own Unique Timeline
There’s a tendency to always compare yourself with others. You look at your friends and wonder why they are having a better life than you. That thinking is flawed. Everybody has their own individual journey. Your life is unique and you are on your own timeline. Things are going to happen for you when they are meant to happen.
Comparing yourself with others is a setup for disaster and might even leave you depressed. All you need to do is be focused, work hard, work smart, and do the best that you can. When the time is right, things will happen for you. You are on your own path. You are the only one in the picture and you are not competing with anybody. If you can understand that, you will have less reason to worry. At the right time, everything you deserve will come to you.
Your decisions and behaviors in your 20s impact your life going forward, so you don’t want to ruin it. Be intentional. Love yourself unconditionally, avoid people pleasing, take more risks, and learn to negotiate in your best interest. Most importantly, stop comparing yourself with other people. You are on your own journey, and nobody can take away what is meant for you.
Watch the YouTube video on The Roadmap to Fulfillment: 5 Essential Rules for Mastering Your 20s