People are hardly content with being with just one person. Yes, they say they love you and care about you, but at the end of the day, they step out on you to see someone else. It can be heartbreaking, especially if both of you agreed to be exclusive. If it's an open relationship, you wouldn't feel so hurt because you knew what you were signing up for.
In an exclusive relationship, they could do better. You can't control what people do to you or how they behave. You can, however, control how you react. That is why I'll be sharing some tips on how to handle cheating and what to do if your partner cheats on you.
1. Try to Be Calm
Being calm could be the last thing you want to do in that moment. You might be filled with rage and anger, wanting to create a scene or inflict injury on them. You might want to let them know how hurt you feel by making them feel the same pain. None of that will undo what has been done.
Pulling down the roof won't make your partner faithful all of a sudden. They cheated, and you have to try to stay in charge of the situation. They probably expected you to get mad and cause a scene when you found out. Don't prove them right; prove them wrong by staying composed.
If you're calm, you'll be able to think properly about how to handle the situation. You can control your reaction even if you can't control their actions. If it means walking out of the room or avoiding your partner for some time, please do so. You need to be as collected as possible so you don't do something irrational you might regret later.
2. Do Not Take Responsibility for Their Actions
Sometimes you might feel like they cheated because you did something wrong or made them unhappy. You might think you could have done more to keep them satisfied. You need to snap out of that mentality. You did not ask them to cheat; they did it because they wanted to.
None of it is your fault, and you don't have to take responsibility for their choices. Stop trying to justify what they did or make excuses for them. They have to bear the consequences of their own behavior. You are the victim here, not a co-conspirator in their infidelity.
You didn't give them permission to step out on the relationship. Ditch the mentality of taking on the blame. It doesn't make any sense to shoulder their burden. It is not your fault, and you shouldn't take any responsibility for it.
3. Feel Free to Grieve However You Want
Don't let anybody tell you how to process this pain, especially if you're not hurting anyone else. Cry if you want to or lock yourself up if you need to. Do whatever is necessary to make yourself feel better. There's no manual on how to grieve because everyone handles it differently.
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You've probably invested years of energy into that relationship. Finding out they have been unfaithful is a lot to deal with. Don't hold your emotions back. If you act like everything is fine, you're just sweeping it under the carpet.
It won't disappear; it will remain there until it eventually blows up. Give yourself the time you need to process the situation. Don't be too hard on yourself or think you're being too weak. Finding out a person you loved cheated is a hard pill to swallow.
4. Think Thoroughly and Do What Is Best for You
There's no one-size-fits-all solution for dealing with a cheating partner. Just because someone else stays doesn't mean you have to stay, and just because they leave doesn't mean you must leave too. Different circumstances call for different reactions. Your situation is peculiar to you.
Think about the situation thoroughly and do what is best for your future. Now is the time to be selfish and put your interests first. When they cheated, they weren't thinking about you, so don't prioritize them now. Ask yourself if leaving or staying is truly the best path for your well-being.
Don't make a choice based solely on what other people say. Put yourself first and decide what suits you best right now. You need all the love you can give to yourself. Be smart about your decision because it’s about your happiness.
5. Do Not Make a Decision Out of Fear
Now is not the time to make life-altering decisions based on fear. If you're afraid, wait until you are in a better frame of mind. Fear is just going to mislead you. Any decision you make should be objective and weigh every angle of the situation.
Don't be in a hurry to decide just because you feel pressured or uncertain about tomorrow. Take your time to clear your head. If you need to speak to someone else to gain perspective, please do so. You might not be seeing things clearly right now.
Let fear not be your motivation. If fear pushes you, you might end up making the wrong choice. You need to decide from a place of logic and objectivity. Think about what is going to serve you best in the long run.
As a recap, if your partner cheats, try to be calm so you don't do something you'll regret. Don't take responsibility for their actions because it has nothing to do with you. Grieve however you want and take your time to express your emotions. Think thoroughly to make the best decision for yourself, and never decide out of fear.
Watch the YouTube video on How to Handle Infidelity: A Professional Guide on What to Do if Your Partner Cheats