Society makes us believe that being selfish is a terrible thing, but that's not exactly true. The opposite of that is to do everyone else's bidding, neglecting yourself. The mere idea of that is tormenting. You'll burn out trying to please others at your own detriment.
Being selfish can help you lead a happier and healthier life. Here's how to go about it.
1. Acknowledge the Good in Being Selfish
Selfishness often connotes negativity. When people think about being selfish, they feel it isn't a good thing. They ask why they shouldn't care about others' feelings, fearing it makes them a terrible person. It doesn't, especially when it’s about putting your own well-being into consideration.
It’s about looking out for yourself. Perhaps you should think of it as doing something good for yourself for once. There's nothing wrong with being selfish. If you're not, people will take advantage of you. They will always call on you to do things, even when they know they are inconveniencing you or putting you in danger.
Many people don't care as long as you do whatever they want. You need to acknowledge there's nothing wrong with being selfish when protecting yourself. Otherwise, you might continue to be the person everyone takes advantage of.
2. Learn to Say No More Often
We've gotten accustomed to always saying yes to requests. When people ask us to do something, the default response is to say yes. However, it doesn't have to be so. You're not obligated to always say yes, especially when requests are impossible or don't serve you well.
Practice saying no often. It might make you feel uncomfortable or like a terrible person at first. If you keep practicing, you will get used to it over time. Stand in front of the mirror and practice saying no to people.
If you don't do that, they will continue to ask for difficult things. They expect you to say yes because you're the person who always does. Learn how to say no with your full chest. Don't be afraid to say no when what they are asking isn't in your best interest.
3. Always Put Your Well-being First
This isn't about being a good or bad person; it’s about your well-being. Would you rather put your health on the line just to please someone? You shouldn't. You shouldn't be a people pleaser because those individuals always put others before themselves.
They do this even when it's clear the request goes against their well-being. In whatever situation you find yourself, your number one priority should be to put yourself first. When you do this, being selfish won't be so difficult. You can usually tell when something doesn't suit you well.
You might go out of your way to acquiesce to requests that don't serve you because you want to be a good person. Before you do anything for anybody, put your well-being first. Ask yourself if this serves you well or enhances your life. If it only causes stress, you need to know, or you may end up with nothing but regrets.
4. Create Dedicated "Me Time"
You need to create some me time for yourself. This could be between 30 minutes to 2 hours every day. During that period, you should be the only one who matters. It doesn't matter who wants your attention or who is calling.
Focus on doing whatever makes you happy. This could mean taking a nap, resting, or watching your favorite show. Even doing nothing but dealing with your own thoughts is valuable. Your me time is very important every day.
You’d be surprised how much time you spend running around for others while doing nothing for yourself. By creating this time, you ensure you aren't distracted. You don't have to pick up calls if they aren't important. If someone isn't dying, they can wait.
5. Ignore What People Say
How long are you going to continue to listen to what people say? People will always have an opinion about you regardless of what you do. Even if you're the nicest person in the world, people will still talk. You can't please everybody; it’s not possible.
Stop trying to avoid their talk because they will talk regardless. You might as well just be yourself and be selfish. Do what makes you happy on your own terms. You don't need their validation.
They aren't paying your bills or taking care of you, so who cares what they say? What matters most is being at peace with yourself. When you lie in bed at night, how do you feel? As long as you feel okay about yourself, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.
To be more selfish for a happier life, you need to acknowledge the good in it. It’s not negative; you're just looking out for yourself. Learn to say no more often so you don't become tired and resentful. Always put your well-being first and ask if a situation enhances or jeopardizes your life. Create me time every day where no one else matters. Finally, ignore what people say because they will have opinions no matter what you do.