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Abusive relationships are unfortunately rampant in society today. While both genders experience abuse, women are often the victims, being abused by men. Abusive men don’t become abusive overnight. They usually exhibit signs, but those signs are often overlooked. Being observant can help you identify signs that a woman may physically abuse you in a relationship.
Here are some of the signs of a physically abusive man.
1. He Isolates You From Everyone You Know
You know what they say, love is blind. Most of the time, you can’t see things clearly. Even when he’s abusing you or doing things that suggest he’s going to abuse you, you might not see the signs because you are blinded by the love you feel for him.
One of the first things he does is isolate you from your loved ones, your friends, and your family. You know why? So that they won’t be able to figure him out or come to your rescue. He isolates you from these people so that when he begins to abuse you, you’ll have no one to run to.
Sometimes, having a simple conversation with a friend about what’s going on in your relationship could be the reset you need. They’re going to tell you some reasonable things. They’ll open your eyes to things you can’t see clearly. What he does is take all these people out of your life, leaving you alone.
You might be wondering how he does that. He might begin by making all those people look bad in your eyes. He might make up stories, telling you how they’re such a bad influence on you. By the time you begin to believe his stories, you take yourself out of your relationships with those people. At the end of the day, it’s just you and him.
When he begins to abuse you physically, you’ll have no one to run to and no one to talk to. Many women feel deeply ashamed at this point in their lives because they can’t go back to their loved ones. They can’t explain what happened to their relationships with those people in the first place. So they would rather stay in that abusive relationship than seek help, ashamed of what those people will say about them.
If you notice that your man is trying to isolate you from your family and friends and he has no tangible, logical reason for doing so, that’s a huge red flag. It’s a sign that he might be trying to isolate you so that when he begins to abuse you, you’ll have no one to come to your rescue.
2. He Is Overly Controlling
Do you feel like your man is controlling you? That’s how it starts. It begins with little things. He tells you what to do and what not to do.
First off, you need to understand that you are an adult, not a child. Nobody, not even your man, should control your life. Nobody should tell you what to do. You have a head to think for yourself. Yes, he can advise you and make suggestions, but controlling you is not cool.
If he always has an opinion about what you should do, where you should go, and where you shouldn’t go, that’s a sign he’s trying to control you. The next minute, he might try to abuse you physically, especially if you condone his controlling attitude.
If he believes he can control you, he’ll feel he has the go-ahead to lay hands on you. He’ll think he can do whatever he wants to you and that you won’t complain. If you allow him to control you, he might as well hit you, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
As a woman, you need to know your worth and value. You need to know when to draw the line. You need to know when he’s advising you and when he’s trying to control you. If he’s always trying to control you and you’ve been condoning it, it’s time to take a different turn.
If you allow him to continue, he’ll see it as a green light to hit you and physically abuse you. But when you stand up for yourself and let him know that you can’t be controlled, he’ll think twice. He’ll know that abusing you is a no-go area.
You need to put your foot down and call him out the minute you notice he’s trying to control you. You’re not a child. You’re an adult woman. If he doesn’t see your worth, it’s your responsibility to make him see it. If you don’t, you're indirectly telling him that you're okay with being in an abusive relationship.
3. He Insults You
Does your man insult you? It might seem like a joke at first. That’s how it starts. “You’re stupid,” “you’re crazy,” and before you know it, it becomes serious.
Nobody should insult anyone. He has to respect you as a person and as a human being first, and then as his woman. He shouldn’t insult you as if you’re inconsequential. You need to make it clear that you won’t accept insults and that it’s not acceptable.
If you stay quiet when he insults you, the next time he’ll insult you even more. It will keep building until it reaches the point where he will hit you physically. These things don’t happen overnight. They build up.
The first time he insults you, call him out. Let him know you won’t accept it. If you did something wrong, he can talk to you like an adult. Don’t insult you. If you keep quiet and let him insult you over and over again, don’t be surprised when he raises his hands to you.
An insult is an insult, no matter how small it seems. It’s condescending and derogatory, and you shouldn’t accept it. If he’s in the habit of insulting you, it’s time to put an end to it. That seemingly harmless insult can become very harmful. Once he hits you the first time, there’s no guarantee he won’t do it again.
4. He Makes You Feel Guilty About Everything
Guilt-tripping is a major red flag of abusive people. They start by making you feel guilty about the smallest things.
When they begin to abuse you, they’ll find a way to make it look like it’s all your fault. They’ll indirectly tell you that it’s your fault they’re abusing you. That’s gaslighting, and you shouldn’t accept it.
He might sometimes do things that are wrong. Nobody is perfect. But if he makes it seem like you’re always wrong about everything, that’s not healthy. If he’s always guilt-tripping you now, that’s a sign that tomorrow he might abuse you physically and then make it look like it’s your fault.
You shouldn’t constantly feel guilty when there’s nothing to feel guilty about. You shouldn’t constantly apologize when you haven’t done anything wrong. If you notice this pattern, you need to look out for yourself early.
5. He Constantly Checks Your Phone and Devices
He’s snooping around, checking who you’re texting, calling, and interacting with. That’s not cool. If he has questions, he should ask you. Snooping behind your back shows insecurity. He’ll start reading meaning into things that don’t exist and make up false stories to accuse you. In the process, he could hit you and justify it in his head.
If a man is in the habit of checking your phone, you need to call him out immediately. It’s your phone and your private property. He has no right to go through it. Most men who hit women in relationships are insecure.
If he doesn’t trust you, it’s better for him to let you go. You shouldn’t allow him to take out his insecurity and lack of trust on you. If he refuses to change, don’t tolerate it. One day, he could hit you over something he thinks he saw on your phone.
If you’ve noticed any of these signs in your man, you need to look out for yourself. Don’t wait until he actually hits you. Once it happens the first time, it can happen again and again. If you notice any of these signs, you need to address them. Take a stand. Nobody deserves to be abused. You’re a beautiful woman, and you deserve to be treated like the queen you are.