There's no need to sugarcoat things; breakups are difficult. Some people would rather take the easy route of getting back with their exes. It’s tempting to make up with a former lover you had a good relationship with. You may remember the beautiful moments both of you shared, and think to yourself: can we have this again? There are several reasons why such a thought is bad for you. Reuniting with an ex hardly ends well for the following reasons:
1. The Past Should Remain in the Past
In case you have forgotten, you and your ex broke up because things weren’t good between you two. Despite what you might think now, the reasons for the breakup were valid and were good for you at the time. They are probably still valid now. Going back to them is equivalent to revisiting an old and forgotten issue. You might be opening a can of worms, causing problems for yourself.
2. People Don't Change as You Would Like to Think
Believe that your ex has turned a new leaf at your detriment. There's no denying that people and circumstances may change, but it’s almost impossible for someone to make a 360 turn in their behavior. No matter who your ex has become now, the underlying problems you faced may still be there.
For instance, if they disrespect you, there's a high chance they are still that way. If you reconnect with them, they will mete it out to you again. If you took the disrespect the other time, they will expect you to take it again. After all, you came back to them.
3. You Stand a Better Chance Without Them
Getting back with your ex only means one thing---you are settling for less. Look at it this way: If your ex didn't value you back then, what makes you think they will value you now? If they treated you badly, what makes you think they will treat you better now? You may not believe this now, but there could be someone better than your ex for you out there. You don't need to go back to all that trouble.
It's not out of place for you to miss your ex. It's understandable that when you remember the moments you two shared, you feel like reliving them. However, you are only remembering the good moments, not the complete picture. If you remember the bad times as much as the good times, you may reconsider.
4. You are Repeating the Breakup and Makeup Cycle
How many times have you broken up and made up with your ex? Perhaps more than once. Going back to them again means you are keeping the cycle alive and proving them right. They will never take you seriously because they know that, even if they mistreat you, you will still come back to them. You are giving them more reasons not to value you.
5. You Haven't Healed Completely
Nursing feelings of rekindling with your ex is a sign that you haven’t healed nor moved on from them. There are unresolved emotional and psychological issues. It's up to you to resolve them on your own. You need to confront them head-on.
You might think getting back with your ex will make you feel better, but it won't. After a couple of days, weeks, or even months, the issues will resurface. And you might regret your actions.
6. It will Hinder Your Personal Growth and Development
The moment you broke up with your ex, you got a chance to start afresh---a chance to live life on your own terms, avoiding certain mistakes. If you go back to them now, it means you didn’t make good use of that opportunity.
Now is the time for you to focus on yourself. Do things that will improve your life. Chart a new course that will usher you into a path of greatness. If you go back to them now, you are walking into a trap of continuous hurt. Put yourself first for once, and stay away from them.
7. You are Denying Yourself the Opportunity to Live a Better Life
If you go back to your ex, you deny yourself a chance to meet someone who can give you the life you deserve, someone who will treat you like the special being you are. There's always that person made for you, your soulmate. You had a chance with your ex and that obviously didn’t work out. Going back to them now will only take you farther from your soulmate. You may never get a chance to experience true love.
When you are with your ex, you can’t meet others unless you want to cheat on them which isn’t a good move. It’s best you remain single, and wait for love to find you. That way, you don’t have to cheat on anyone because you will be as free as a bird to do what makes you happy.
8. There's so Much Gap Between You Two
The time you and your ex have spent apart has created a gap between you. You might think they are the same person you knew, but you might be completely wrong. They have probably become an entirely different person. It's a two-way street. If they have changed, you might have changed too. They may not even recognize the person that you have become. Both of you will be like strangers meeting for the first time and starting afresh. Your ex may not even love you anymore.
Don’t Go Back to the Past With Your Ex
Your intention to rekindle your love with your ex is not out of place. Your mind is only bringing back the beautiful memories you had with them. You are only seeing one side of the picture. Remember the pain they caused you and how much they hurt you. Every relationship must not last forever. Both of you ended things for a reason; don’t forget it in a hurry. Going back to them will take you many steps backwards. You should always move forward. Look on to the future for better days ahead.