It takes two consenting adults to have a beautiful relationship, one which has the potentials to stand the test of time and possibly transition to a deeper union of lifetime commitment. But that isn’t always the case. The other may be in the love boat, but deep down their heart, they aren’t fully committed to the relationship. And for reasons best known by them they tag along, perhaps for selfish gains.
There’s so much one can do to pretend about having the best time of their life. When things get serious, they lay back with a nonchalant attitude that depicts a zero level of interest. They’d rather be anywhere but here, with anyone but you. That’s what you get who you are dating someone who doesn’t love you. Let me run these signs by you, just in case you are still in doubt.
1. Your instincts are clear
More often than not, we know the truth about our situations. Our instincts present a non-sentimental view of things to us, the reality, but we’d rather look the other way because of our sentimental attachment to the situation.
Right from the onset, you could see the signs and feel the vibes that just maybe, this one person, whom you love, doesn’t feel the same way about you. You know it’s a love unreturned, but you let your fantasy become your reality, a flawed reality.
If you are feeling like you aren’t getting so much love and attention, it’s because they aren’t giving you any. The rule is, if it feels like something is missing, chances are that something is really missing. You could pretend like all is well, all sort things out straight away. The latter is the hard but right thing to do.
2. You make too many excuses for them
Looking out for someone you love and care about isn’t a crime, it’s something that couples who are truly in love do. But when you make excuses for your partner every other time, it’s just not worth it. While nobody can always get it right, when you love someone, you try to get it right, most times. Wait a minute, does your lover make these same excuses for you, all the time? I don’t think so.
3. You do all the work
Every successful relationship needs some work for it to keep waxing stronger, and this is dependent on efforts from both parties. Their commitment to keeping things going, helps them to weather the storm, overcoming the many challenges that arise when two people come together to share the deepest parts of their lives. When two people work to build a relationship, it isn’t seen as work but commitment. Quick question, do you make all the effort to sustain it? You know the answer to that.
You probably do all the calling. And sometimes when you call, they don’t even pick up, and when they do, there’s that coldness in their voice that shows that they aren’t so interested in the conversation. The excuse you probably get is that they are busy and they are so engrossed in the work that they don’t even have breathing space. But somehow, you have the chance to not only breathe but also check on them in your busy schedule.
4. You take all the blame
Taking responsibility for your actions and doing everything possible to remedy the situation is applaudable; it’s a sign of humility. It becomes an issue when you obviously haven’t done anything wrong in a relationship, but take the fall just because you don’t want to lose your partner. Doing that once in a while could be understandable; being a peacemaker is a good virtue. But it shouldn’t be a constant occurrence. If your partner did something wrong, it should be made clear that they have erred and apologies should be rendered by them. Sweeping the issue under the carpet, just to save the relationship, gives them the go-ahead to treat you for less than you are worth. You have the power to make people treat you the way you want them to, and if they take you for granted, it’s because you allow them to. How long will you continue like this?
Commitment in a relationship is never balanced; one party has to give more. You may find yourself loving the other much more. That’s okay, as long as the other person involved loves you too. But when the love is nonexistent on their part, then it’s not worth it. There’s a man for every woman and vice versa. Rather than settle for less, dating someone who doesn’t love you, you should go out there and find your better half who will love you and treat you like the treasure that you are. Don’t feel inferior in a relationship, Love is it its peak when you are the choice and not an option.
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Relationship