There’s a common misconception that women are the only gold diggers, but, unknown to many, men are in that category too. Love isn’t always the motivation for men getting involved with women. They sometimes claim to be in love when, in the real sense, they are in love with their selfish desires.
They are committed to a single goal: enriching themselves and making themselves happy, without regard for you or your feelings.
Here are clear signs he’s with you for selfish reasons.
1. He’s More Interested in What You Have Than in You
Does it ever feel like he’s with you for the good life you can offer? Is he always talking about what he can get from you, asking for money, or asking just to enhance his life? It may feel like he’s talking more about the places you can go together, the things you can buy him, or the favors you can do than about actually being together.
You can feel when people are interested in you only for the benefits. When a man truly loves you, it doesn't matter what you have or don’t have. You can tell he’s with you because he loves you by the way he looks at you and cares for you. If he’s always focused on what he can get and wants you to do things for him without doing things for you, he’s with you for the wrong reasons. He will keep taking until there’s nothing left.
2. He’s Only Nice When He Wants Something
When he wants something from you, he becomes the nicest person in the world. But once he gets what he wants, he reverts to his old self and doesn’t really care. He’s only lively and fun when there’s something for him to grab. When there’s nothing on the table, he’s back to being nonchalant.
Men aren’t stupid; when they want something from a woman they don’t really love, they pretend to love her just to get it. If he’s not doing his best to be the best version of himself most of the time, but becomes that sweet guy only when he needs a favor, that’s a clue he’s with you for the benefits.
3. His Words Don’t Match His Actions
Talk is cheap. Anyone can say anything, and some men have mastered the art of deceiving women with words. Some are smooth talkers who can talk you into believing anything, but as a smart woman, you ought to judge by what they do instead.
He may go on and on about how much he loves you, but when it’s time to show it, he doesn't do anything. In fact, his actions are the opposite. It takes effort and will to take reasonable action to show someone you love them. If there’s no balance and his actions don’t align with his words, he’s trying to deceive you. When a man loves you and cherishes being with you, he will show you he’s there for the long haul.
4. He Prioritizes Appearances Over Resolving Issues
He wants people to think you two are good together because when they believe that, you might believe his lies even more. It makes it harder for you to understand him. When you have issues, he doesn't want to get to the root of them or even have a conversation.
Instead, he would rather patch things up, sweep them under the rug, and keep up appearances. He’s posting on social media about how cute you are, but he doesn't say those things to you one-on-one. He tells your friends you’re the most beautiful woman in the world, but when it’s just the two of you, you can feel he’s a totally different person. He puts on a perfect couple facade to make people believe the notion, making his deception easier.
5. The Relationship Feels False and One-Sided
Let’s be honest: you can tell when a relationship is one-sided. You know when you’re the only one doing all the work. You don’t need a sign to tell you that; you can feel it. It feels like you’re forcing things because they don’t flow smoothly.
He isn't really in love; he only cares about the money, the connections, or the opportunities being with you affords him. If the relationship isn't serving him, he would have left, but he stays for the wrong reasons. If you’re the only one trying to save the relationship, it’s not worth it. For all you know, he might be planning to dump you. You deserve better.
Men are smarter than women give them credit for. They are very objective about what they want, and if pretending to love you when all they want is to use you to enrich themselves, they’ll go to any length to sell you that story. It’s your responsibility to see through them and set them straight.