When people talk about abuse, they usually focus on the physical aspect, neglecting the emotional aspect, which is just as damaging, if not worse. Your violent boyfriend or husband didn’t become that way overnight.
They started by exhibiting signs of such behavior, but you didn’t notice them. Paying close attention to signs of emotional abuse is key to protecting yourself. Here are clues to look out for.
1. Overly Critical or Judgmental Behavior
It’s okay to have an opinion that differs from your partner’s. It’s also okay not to always agree with what your partner does. But when it becomes excessive, there’s a problem. He has a problem with everything you do, finding excuses to be overly critical. This is a way for him to control you. He thinks he knows better than you, which gives him the right to tell you what to do.
When your partner is emotionally abusing you, they are overly critical of everything you do. They have a negative opinion of everything. You can never get it right with them. They might criticize you publicly rather than privately, simply to belittle you. This constant behavior makes you feel like you always have to walk on eggshells around them. You are anything but free in the relationship. His mere presence makes you nervous, wanting to be anywhere but with him.
2. Manipulative Behavior
They are always trying to manipulate or guilt-trip you. They may know what they’re doing is wrong but refuse to admit it. They always need to be right, and you have to be wrong. An emotional abuser has mastered manipulation. They carefully plan their words and actions, turning things around to make you look like a crazy person who is making things up. This manipulation goes on until you begin to doubt your very existence.
For example, your partner might give you the cold shoulder instead of discussing issues. They may exclude you from activities you both normally do together to make you feel alone. This manipulation makes you question yourself and your worth. Manipulation is a common tactic in emotional abuse, and even the strongest person can be worn down over time.
3. Overbearing Need for Constant Attention
While it’s normal to spend time together, you also have your own life, friends, and family. If your partner tries to isolate you from people who matter to you, or demands access to your phone and devices to check what you’re doing, it is emotional abuse. They want to control your life and limit your independence.
They want the entire relationship to be about them. If you try to point out your needs in the relationship, they accuse you of being needy and clingy. A man will abuse you emotionally when he goes out of his way to make himself the center of attention in the relationship without paying attention to how his actions impact your relationship.
Recognizing emotional abuse early is key to protecting yourself. Signs like excessive criticism, manipulation, and overbearing control indicate that your relationship may be toxic. Stand up for yourself while you can. If he abused you emotionally, he can abuse you physically, too. Act while you can.