A lot is going on in life that demands your attention. However, worrying about everything other people say or do will only complicate your life. Learning to be unbothered helps you focus on what matters most to you. Is it easy? No, but with practice and intentionality, you can get there.
Here are 7 ways to be unbothered and live a stress-free life.
1. Understand that you can’t control what people do or say
People have minds of their own and have to use them to think. They have the right to think whatever they want. If they want to think about you, they’ll do so anyway, regardless of what you do.
If they choose to talk about you, they will. There’s nothing you can do about it. Imagine paying attention to what everyone is thinking or saying about you. It’s like waking up in the morning, picking up your phone, and calling everyone to tell them not to think about you or talk about you today. That would be exhausting.
At the end of the day, people will form all sorts of opinions about you if they want to. You can’t control that. The sooner you understand that, the better it will be for you. All you need to think about are your own thoughts and actions. Don’t be responsible for what other people do or say.
If they’re going to talk about you, that’s fine. You can’t stop it, so don’t even try. Just go about leading your best life. At the end of the day, you know yourself better than anyone else. You know what’s true and what’s not. Stop keeping tabs on what people say about you. The sooner you understand that you’re not responsible for what people say or do, the more unbothered you will be.
2. Weigh the situation to know whether it affects your life
Weighing the situation and determining whether it affects your life is a practical way to be unbothered because most of the time, we pay attention to inconsequential things. Someone says you’re a terrible person. So what? How does that affect your life?
Does it stop you from breathing? Does it stop your family from loving you? Does it affect your job? No way. So, what does it affect? Nothing. We overthink things and assign importance to things that are not important.
The next time someone says or does something about you and you think it’s a big deal, ask yourself how it affects your life. You will realize it doesn’t affect your life in any way. If it doesn’t impact your life, why should you care?
3. Pay attention to only important people and things
There are many distractions in life. Imagine paying attention to every dog barking on the street. You wouldn’t get anywhere. So you ignore them and keep going.
People will say trash about you. Most of them are looking for your attention. They want you to acknowledge them. Press the ignore button. Ignoring people drives them crazy. They talk and talk, and you keep living your best life.
Ask yourself whether this person deserves your attention. Many people don’t. If someone isn’t important and doesn’t add anything to your life, don’t give them attention. They aren’t paying your bills. Why should their opinion matter? Choose who you give your attention to, and you will enjoy life more.
4. Aim to please no one but yourself
You can’t please everyone. Even if you give them the whole world, they still won’t be satisfied. Stop trying. The only person you should aim to please is yourself.
This is your life. You call the shots. If you live to please others, you will always be disappointed. People will talk, whether you’re good or bad. Stop seeking validation. Do things because you want to and because they make you happy.
Anyone who likes you will like you regardless of who you are. Anyone who doesn’t want you, that’s their loss. Be content with who you are. When you live like that, you won’t be bothered by what anyone thinks.
5. Focus on self-development and success
Most of the time, we worry about what people think because we have too much time on our hands. When you’re focused on improving yourself and becoming successful, you won’t have time to worry about opinions.
Find what brings out the fire in you and focus on it. Work harder. Improve yourself. Build something meaningful. Success is the best response you can give to people who talk down to you. When you’re busy killing it at life, you won’t even hear the noise.
6. Avoid negative energy
Negative energy is draining. Being unbothered requires a positive mindset. Don’t surround yourself with people who constantly remind you of what others say about you.
Be intentional about your associations. Stay around people who radiate positivity. When you do, you won’t dwell on negativity. Positivity brings success and growth. Being unbothered is about staying positive regardless of what anyone says or does.
7. Be honest and true to yourself
There’s no greater gift you can give yourself than honesty. You can lie to the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. When you’re at peace with yourself, it won’t matter what anyone else thinks.
Be upright. Have integrity. When you know you gave your best, you will have peace of mind even when people talk trash. If you lack honesty, your conscience will keep pricking you, and you won’t be unbothered.
At the end of the day, what truly matters is how you think about yourself. People are entitled to their opinions, and you are entitled to your reaction. Being unbothered is the best reaction you can give.