Finding out that someone you love and have been in a relationship with is cheating on you hurts. This revelation can send you to a dark place, making you question your worth and everything that matters to you. There's the anxiety - the fear of not knowing what to do and how to manage the situation.
Part of you might wish it's all a dream because facing such a reality is scary. If you feel that your partner is cheating on you, looking the other way doesn't help much. The following signs can help you know for sure and catch them red-handed.
1. Familiarize Yourself With Cheating Signs
You must understand how a cheating partner behaves to catch them in the act. This is because their behaviors may be a result of something else. You need to know where to look and what to look out for. A single sign isn’t enough to determine that your lover is unfaithful. You need multiple signs to conclude.
Exhibiting Secretive Behaviors
Have you noticed that your man or woman has become secretive suddenly? One place to observe is how they handle their phone. They don't leave their phone lying about like they used to. It goes with them wherever they go. If they mistakenly leave it behind, they run back to pick it up.
Having New Routines
Your partner might have a routine they have stuck to for years – it’s part of their life and you have gotten used to it. But suddenly, they develop new routines without any concrete explanation.
Decline in Emotional Intimacy
Humans are emotional beings. We channel our emotions to the people and things we care about. If the emotional intimacy between you and your partner suddenly reduces, it could be because they are investing their emotions in someone else. Most of the time, it’s someone they are having an affair with.
Changing Passwords
Passwords are meant to be private. However, some couples share them out of trust, indicating that they have nothing to hide from each other. If you and your partner usually share your passwords, and recently, they changed theirs, preventing you from gaining access, they could be hiding something from you. It’s most likely because they don’t want you to see their correspondence with the hidden lover they are cheating on you with.
Hiding Social Media Activities
Your partner used to be open about their social media interactions, but now, they have cultivated a habit of hiding what they do online from you. It’s even worse if they put their account in private mode or restrict you from seeing some of their activities. They might have blocked you if you can’t find them on your friends’ or followers’ list.
Strange Expenses
If your partner begins to have strange transactions on their bank accounts, they could be funding their life with the lover they are cheating on you with. When you ask them for an explanation, they come up with stories that don’t add up.
2. Gather Enough Evidence of Them Cheating
While you are bent on catching your cheating partner red-handed, it's important to understand that simply catching them is insufficient without concrete evidence. If push comes to shove, your evidence must be strong enough to prove they are guilty, otherwise, you’ll have no case.
Document Your Findings
Keep a journal for documenting your findings. Nothing is too small to note. Every detail is important in uncovering their tracks. Write down the dates, times, places, and activities involved. Piece them together to create a cohesive narrative.
Have Enough Proof Before Confronting Them
Some people are eager to confront their cheating partners without enough evidence. Doing that too early could backfire. Set your emotions aside. Be objective in your approach. Your accusations must be believable to serve their purpose.
Track Their Activities Online
Most cheatings are facilitated with digital devices. Your partner’s mobile phone will have evidence of their affairs. Check it for the proof you need. Some people believe it's wrong to go through your lover’s phone without their consent. But how are you supposed to get evidence? Do what you need to do in this case. Look out for numbers that aren’t familiar to you.
Another place to get evidence of their infidelity is their email. They might avoid communicating on their phones because they know it’s the first place you would look at if you had suspicions.
Don’t Breach the Law
The idea of catching a cheating partner can be exciting to the extent that you won’t consider the implications of your actions against the law while doing that. Keep in mind that breaching the law is a crime, regardless of your reasons. Keep your feelings in check. If something will make you look bad in court, don’t do it.
Leverage technology like the Global Positioning System (GPS) to track their whereabouts. It can show you where they are at every point by tracking their movements. This is tricky because it’s illegal to do that in certain locations, so use your discretion.
Other phone monitoring apps can be helpful too. They can track your partner’s online interactions, showing you who they are speaking to. This is illegal in certain places, so make sure that you aren’t breaking the law.
3. Confront Your Partner With Your Evidence
Having gathered enough evidence that your man or woman is cheating on you, it’s time to confront them.
Pick the Right Place and Time
You must confront your cheating partner in a location where you can speak freely. Don’t fight them. Let them know what you have found, calmly. While a private location is good for both of you to talk without intrusion, it should be safe for you. You never can tell what your partner might want to do to you if they find out what you have been up to.
Stay Calm
Try as much as possible to be calm when presenting your evidence. Being aggressive with them won't solve anything. Don't yell; it’ll be counterproductive. Probe Further if you want to know more about their motives and actions.
You may have certain questions about your partner's affairs. Don't make assumptions. Ask them questions for clarity and allow them to explain themselves. While your evidence might be concrete, there’s a chance that it’s not completely accurate.
Look Out for Yourself in Dealing With a Cheating Partner
Before embarking on the journey to catch your cheating partner, prepare yourself mentally, psychologically, and emotionally for anything you might discover. Establish how you would like to move onwards because things might never be the same for you both. Your decisions should be in your best interest.