When you two were having your jolly ride, lost in the sweet embrace of each other, in love like newlyweds, nothing else mattered. You two had more disagreements than agreements. Even when you didn’t like what it was they wanted, you still gave in, putting their happiness before yours. But then, the honeymoon became over, probably sooner than you expected. Perhaps you were heartbroken. And now, you are faced with another challenge. Both of you work in the same establishment; you get to see your former lover in the office, and it feels awkward. You need to find a solution to how you can work with your ex in the office and save your job.
1. Seek closure
When you are stuck with a past lover in the same office, the first step to dealing with it, is to seek closure from them. Both of you may not be in the same love boat anymore, but they owe it to you, to tell you what went wrong, especially if they initiated the breakup. Otherwise, you’d be battling with uncertainties, making you resent them.
2. Move on
When the records are clear and the reasons for the breakup are understood, it’s time to move on. Waiting on them for another second is a disaster, especially given the fact that you get to see them always. When he’s talking to the female colleagues, your blood will definitely rise up, making you want to burst in anger.
3. Don’t avoid them
Running away from your “fears” won’t lessen them or make them go away. So, it feels awkward working with your ex, given your history, but you don’t have to run away whenever you see them as a little kid. Doing that will be giving them too much power over you. Ditch the complex and exude confidence! It’s your job, your source of livelihood, so don’t hide your face like a stranger. Put up a bold face, show up and execute your tasks, like it’s business as usual.
4. Be formal
Putting up a bold face and showing up doesn’t mean you should be saucy or rude to your ex; that’s ill-mannered. Keep it cordial but formal. When you have to talk to him/her or even work together on a project, see them as the colleague that they have become now. No endearments or unnecessary affection. In other words, air your opinion from a professional point of view.
5. Work harder
You don’t want to be the one to get sacked because of an ex, do you? Office romance is not part of the office business and shouldn’t affect performance if it goes wrong. If you dwell on your failed affair and let it affect your performance, your newly developed incompetence won’t be tolerated for too long. You could be thrown out and be left jobless, while your ex will go about working, get promoted, and probably even hook up with someone else at work. This is the time for you to work harder and break a leg at work. Let your one-time-lover see you excel and enjoy the praises that come with being successful.
Dating your male boss, female boss or co-worker may be fun while it lasts, but then, you should be ready for the consequences if it doesn’t have a happy ever ending. Be in control of your emotion, don’t let it control you. Always ensure that you put your wellbeing first, especially when it involves someone that is no longer a part of your life. When you are faced with working with an ex in the office, develop selective amnesia, and act like you two never existed.
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Relationship